To Employee... To Employer...

To Employee

Surely like me, you guys received a lot of trivia email from your friends, right? It is not a junk mail or spam. It an interesting but not important (meaning of trivia dari kamus) facts email. Salah satu yang paling popular adalah “How to Impress Your Boss”. Here the ideas that I always got from the forwarded email:

1. Selerakkan meja, jangan biarkan ianya teratur.
2. Always ‘on’ your pc, walaupun hanya chatting or main games
3. Reply boss’s email time yang pelik-pelik (2 pagi, tengah malam)
4. You must, holding a piece of paper and a pen.

Ada beberapa points lagi tips biasa-biasa yang dicadangkan. Semua orang dah tahu rasanya.

Aku pula nak berikan dua tricks lagi. Maybe my trick quite extreme, but believe me in this cruel office politic world, ramai lagi yang lebih keji dari aku. So, here my own idea:

1. Demam, selsema, patah kaki, pakai bandage – datang office.

Sakit perut, pening atau suka-suka nak ponteng – cari MC.

Got it?

Sakit yang boss boleh nampak, jangan ambil MC, datang office, bring all kind of medicine in the world and if possible during meeting makan ubat satu persatu. Funny? But surely effective.

2. Tell your boss how happy you are with your life.

You have wonderful wife, beautiful kids, happy family, and cool friends. Kalau terpaksa tipu, go ahead, who cares. I believe knowing you have little amount of pressure and problem to handle will encourage your boss to trust and give new challenge to you. Right?

Try practicing these two tricks first, ada beberapa lagi dalam kepala aku, tapi kena simpan. Try to avoid my colleagues laughing like mad or worst…..kill me. Hahahhahah…

To Employer

Moving to serious mode sikit. I got this advice from my former superior, thanks bro.

Are you a boss or superior to anyone? If yes, please read…. Aku pernah terdengar dari boss aku yang lepas-lepas or dari member-member aku yang sekarang dah mula jadi boss. Mereka percaya mereka adalah boss yang paling bagus and one of the most important member of the organization, since if they not around everything will collapse. For me they just plain STUPID. In other words, mereka samakan diri mereka dengan machines or raw materials. Kalau mereka tiada, and thing not moving, that the rock solid prove yang mereka ni ada lah boss yang bodoh and lemah. They failed their task as manager. Pada aku, boss or manager yang bagus will create a system. Meaning, they will monitor, make necessary adjustment to move towards perfection of the whole system. Kalau pekerja still blur and need daily instruction from them, maknanya dia gagal lah. So, kalau ada diantara yang baca ni seorang boss, imagine esok kau pergi holiday satu minggu dalam hutan, if your staff manage to continue their works, congratulation. If not, sorry to say, you are a lousy boss..!

P/S: Don’t think my boss read this blog kalau dia terbaca pun his Bahasa off sikit, unless ada yang gatal-gatal buat full translation. Ssshhhiiiit..!