Ibu Bapa Bongsu

Both aku dan wife adalah anak bongsu. Family wife aku far bigger than mine, aku cuma ada 3 adik beradik compare to hers, 9 orang. So, what I want to share with you guys now are the advantages and disadvantages become a bongsu parent. Macam semua orang tahu, last few weeks kami baru dapat anak… so, memang menarik untuk diceritakan pengalaman menjadi ibu bapa paling kecil dapat family.

Advantages

1. Sharing is Caring
Even masa pregnant lagi wife aku dah dapat stock baju dari akak-akak dia dan akak aku. So, bila nak dapat baby je macam-macam lagi benda yang kami dapat dari adik beradik. Since ada adik beradik kami yang dah stop production, berkotak-kotak baju baby ada dalam rumah sekarang. Although ramai yang cakap 1st baby kena beli benda baru semua, come on... every parent knows baby clothes will only last for few months. Then, baby dah besar dan memerlukan baju size lain. So, instead of wasting money buying new clothes we just accept their offer. Selain baju, beberapa benda lain seperti kelambu, bengkung, dan lain-lain pun kami pinjam dari adik beradik. Save cost dan mengeratkan talian silatulrrahim….:)


2. Banyak Tempat Rujukan
Again its started masa bulan-bulan pregnant lagi. Kami ada banyak tempat rujukan. So, back in our mind memang kurang la sikit risau. Few phone calls then we already get solid answer for any problem we faced. Masa aku tunggu wife before deliver pun adik beradik send sms memberi semangat. Mereka dah lalui benda tu, so they knew what kind of encouragement that we need at that particular time. Then bila dah lahir baby, kami tidak risau since we know if anything happen we have so many source of information around us. Remember in my posting the other day, I mention 4 o’clock in the morning my brother reply my sms and remind me to azan the baby? That kind of reminder we received a lot from our sibling. We very thankful for that.


3. Experience
In my case, aku pernah hantar akak ipar aku pergi hospital masa sakit nak bersalin jam 5 pagi. So, somehow I know what to expect if that happen. I also help my mum to buy ikan haruan and veggie for my sister dulu. Even help her to grill the haruan or buatkan sup. Then, for my wife pula, as youngest in her family for sure she does have experience assisting her mum taking care of her sister dalam pantang. Also, wife aku mesti ada pengalaman jaga baby sikit sebanyak. Anak sedara pun dah lebih 20 orang, tak mungkin lah ada zero knowledge pasal skill nak handle budak kecil. So, in that sense we somehow well prepared.


4. Financial Aid
Beside advice and encouragement, I believe as adik or anak bongsu juga if I needed any kind of financial assistant most of our brothers and sisters will be very happy to help. Normally kalau kau anak bongsu, regardless your education level or your profession… your family will always look you as their sweet little youngest brother or sister. But in my case, alhamdullilah aku belum lagi nak pinjam duit mereka. BELUM bukan TIDAK MAHU atau TIDAK AKAN… big different tu. Hahaha….

Disadvantages

1. Kurang Sambutan
Have to admit lah… both our mother not really thrilled with our newly born baby. Cannot blame them also, baby aku adalah cucu ke nombor puluh-puluh for our mums. So, we can’t expect the same reception as their 1st grandchild. Although maybe I’m wrong here, since normally anak bongsu adalah anak manja... maybe they did feel very-very happy to see their anak manja dapat anak. Don’t know, difficult to figure out old folk’s feeling. From adik beradik pun sambutan tidak semeriah anak sedara pertama atau kedua. Fact that our brothers and sisters busy taking care of their family juga membuatkan sambutan agak tidak sepanas seperti anak-anak mereka dulu. For example, masa anak abang aku lahir, aku masih bujang… aku ada plenty of time to visit my newly born niece or nephew. Tak fair lah kalau aku expect abang aku do the same thing now, sedangkan dia busy dengan anak, isteri, kerja dan sebagainya.

Same goes to wedding lah, kalau dalam satu kumpulan kawan-kawan, siapa kahwin lambat memang agak sukar nak kumpulkan kawan-kawan yang ramai masa hari kahwin. Since kawan-kawan dah busy with other commitment. Jaga family, cari duit dan macam-macam urusan lagi. Those yang kahwin awal-awal memang syok tengok member-member bujang datang rumah even tidor semalam, dua malam.


2. Too Many Info
Related to 2nd point of the Advantages. Sometimes we been flooded with information and advices. Boleh lemas… everybody sort like try to outdone each other. Even very simple things such as whether we should prepare to give susu kambing or mandikan anak with air herba if anak ada kuning, could be very long discussion. Then if say we accept suggestion from one sibling, others that gave different opinion on that particular issue akan terasa pula. Not to mention different budaya Perak and Terengganu. Different budaya consequently created different approach for so many things. So, my juggling acts have to be perfect.


3. Too Many Instructions
Info, advice, idea are totally difference from instructions. Since we are the youngest in the family, everybody assume we have no idea what to do and how to tackle every single problem. So, instead of give opinion, some started give all kind of instruction. Even nak pilih nama anak pun ada yang cuba bagi arahan. Then, adik beradik yang lain will also start question all our decision. Why you not sent your wife to kampong through flight? Why must stay in kampong for few weeks? Why don’t you guys be more independent? So far aku belum reply to any of those question rudely lah. Aku will try to explain one by one, or at one stage just diam membisu sahaja. I know maybe their intention are good, they don’t want us to make same mistake as theirs or we burden our mothers or simply wasting our money or something. Bottom line here is if you a youngest in your family and you married to another bongsu, just get prepared mentally.

4. Limited Nama
Imagine in my case, anak sedara aku dan isteri ada lebih dari 30 orang. So, if let say each if them have 2 names (ada yang tiga, but ada a few yang repeated). So, our option dah kurang at least by 60. And those 60 names adalah nama-nama yang sedap, yang mempunyai maksud yang best-best. Jadi kami terpaksa memerah kepala otak untuk cari nama yang membawa maksud yang baik, bunyi sedap dan tidak sama dengan nama anak-anak saudara. See, rugi kan... kalau anak sulung no such problem.

So there you have it. Advantages and Disadvantages of become a bongsu parent.

What ever pun, (since I know some of my family member do read my blog) I would like to thanks my brother, my sister, my in laws, and million thanks to our mothers for their tireless effort to help me and my wife. Walau macam mana aku membebel pun, we do realize rising a son is not a easy task. We really need your assistant to guide us to become better parent.

(Ahh… I’m really good in this covering-my-ass statement, right?)

Please do anticipate a few parental related posting in the future. Ok la kan… kepompong pun lama-lama jadi rama-rama. But I will try my best not to transform this blog into another ‘blog kaum ibu’.