Petrol Hike Joke

To light thing up aku nak paparkan lawak jenaka / kutukan sinis yang aku gathered either through email, sms, blog hopping or terhasil daripada kepala otak aku sendiri…Lawak-lawak yang agak berkualiti lah, bukan sekadar copy and paste cartoon orang putih.

Enjoy….

SMS aku terima just hours after the announcement made by Pak Lah…

“ Perhatian, kepada sesiapa yg kenderaan mereka masih terlekat sticker BN (stock PRU 12), sila berhati2 apabila anda ke station minyak, anda juga DILARANG sama skali memakai t-shirt lambang dacing apabila pergi ke station stesyen minyak untuk mengelakkan dipukul oleh org ramai – ikhlas dari saudara se UMNO anda ”

Illustration from Saharil Conteng…

Click for bigger view and read the wording.

Caricature from Liyin Design

She drew this before the petrol price hike, but still aku rasa sesuai…

Ini aku fikir sendiri…Kenapa petrol price increase by 40%?

Refer to result of 12^th general election:

Total seat (parliament and state): 727

Total contested seat: 716, BN won 10 uncontested and PAS won 1.

Opposition won: 275 + 2 independent, 279.

So, at 279 places people rejected BN contestant.

279 are approximately 38.99% out of contested seat. And since pakcik-pakcik dalam kerajaan BN tak pandai kira banyak decimal points, they just round the figure to 40%.

Election result base on info from SPR website.

But seriously, for me the funniest joke among all is these two statements.

Tan Sri Mohd. Hassan Marican told media during the special briefing on Petronas’ contribution to the country this….

Petronas will go bust within 10 years if all its profits are handed to the Government to continue subsidising fuel…. Petronas has played a major role by giving back a substantial amount of its profits to the Government...

More at TheStar

Contradictory with what Dr. Mahathir (Petronas advisor) wrote in his blog….

Roughly Malaysia produces 650,000 barrels of crude per day. We consume 400,000 barrels leaving 250,000 barrels to be exported. Three years ago the selling price of crude was about USD30 per barrel. Today it is USD130 – an increase of USD100. There is hardly any increase in the production cost so that the extra USD100 can be considered as pure profit. Our 250,000 barrels of export should earn us 250,000 x 100 x 365 x 3 = RM27,375,000,000 (twenty seven billion Ringgit). But Petronas made a profit of well over RM70 billion, all of which belong to the Government.

I quote directly from his blog….

Soooo funny right. CEO and advisor of Petronas beri info yang tak sekata…

Ok lah… chow…

Selamat berhujung minggu didalam rumah…

Petrol Naik Harga, Petronas Untung Besar....

Tomorrow government will have a meeting, discussion or some sort of sit-down-talk nothing-waste money-and-time kind of shit to finalize petrol price in Malaysia. That simply means, tomorrow night petrol price will increase again. Damn….

Ok… selepas government announced the result of so called discussion tomorrow, what we should do?

Let see how other countries around the globe react to similar news.

Our neighbor, Indonesia…

Picture from: www.delt.de

Asia neighbor, India….

Picture from: Press Release

In Russia….

Picture from: The Moscow Times

Negara Fernando Torres, Spain…

More news here: www.easybourse.com

Kuasa ekonomi dunia, USA…

Picture from: Washington Post

Nampaknya semua penduduk negara berkenaan keluar membantah. Mereka berdemonstrasi, ada yang secara ganas ada yang secara aman, ada yang bertindak bodoh dan ada yang cerdik.

Tapi agak-agaknya apa yang akan berlaku di Malaysia nanti?

Almost nothing. Everybody akan marah sekejap, tambah dosa dengan kutuk menteri, ada 1-2 orang berdemonstrasi, dan yang lain-lain tak buat apa-apa dan redha sahaja dengan kenaikan tersebut.

Then, this two news betul-betul buat aku tak faham bagaimana kehidupan berjuta manusia didunia merana kerana kehaikan harga minyak sedangkan ada pihak yang bergembira, termasuklah orang Malaysia.

Panas je telinga aku dan rasa nak menanah mata aku baca syarikat petroleum untung berbillion ringgit, termasuklah Petronas…

Utusan Malaysia

DailyMail

Naik basikal pergi kerja ok kot, badan sihat pocket pun selamat…. Errr... anyone knows Petronas perlukan fiber optic engineer tak?